but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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