Life is so much better after having sex.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
