One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
