nut hugger
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize
