I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
