You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
there's paper in my vomit.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
