high people should be assigned attendants
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
