I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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