And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
