$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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