i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
