her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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