I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
