Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
