like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
