so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I'm at about main and main street
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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