Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
