paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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