Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
