well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
my poor anus
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
