Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
