so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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