Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
