I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
