Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
All I want is dick and wine.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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