it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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