WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
