That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
