If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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