dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Randomize