I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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