I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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