you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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