I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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