Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
