just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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