I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Found your dick twin last night
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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