There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
