actually, I'm a sock model
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Randomize
