My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
