I need help removing her.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
