You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
