mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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