We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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