I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I wannas sexs uuuuu
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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