apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
