she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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