Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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