youre lurking in front of me
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
