this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
