Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
