If i come over, it means nothing
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
