Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
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You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
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Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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