i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
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i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
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I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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