it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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