he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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