my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
