Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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