Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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