A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
