The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
