I wish I could teleport
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
