That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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