And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Randomize
